


The Secret Smile

by iexisttolive



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship/Love, Gen, Inner Dialogue, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iexisttolive/pseuds/iexisttolive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Distanced from everyday life by her grief, Cho Chang is determined to do well in her Seventh Year at Hogwarts. Immersed in studies and future possibilities, she finds an unlikely friend in a fellow Ravenclaw who helps her re-learn the beauty of love and the relief of letting go. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret Smile

The pain was unbearable. She had spent the summer vacant-eyed and distant, unable to cope with what her life had become. Her parents had edged around her as if her grief was contagious and she was patient zero. But Cho Chang had had enough.

Cedric was dead.

She had dwelled on his death (murder) for long enough (it would never be enough). She would never see him smile again, never hear his laugh, they would not make plans for their future together ("Ministry? I don't know, I'd like to see what else is out there").

They would never again fly together (aerial patterns that seemed impossible as they twirled effortlessly around each other), laying on the pitch afterwards just staring up at the sky. He was gone (forever).

It wasn't supposed to be this way (but that seemed obvious, didn't it?). They were supposed to fight (icy glares and tossed hair in hallways) and make up (soft kisses and the scent of roses in the air) and maybe get the chance to decide if they would spend their lives together (a formal contract between Houses Diggory and Chang, her mother crying at her wedding).

Even now her friends edged around her (cautious glances and hushed voices), worried about setting her off on another crying jag (salty tears running down her cheeks until her eyes burned red). Her social life was suffering, but her schoolwork was actually getting better (tentative smiles from her professors she wished she couldn't see). Finally, she seemed to be living up to the studious stereotype of a Ravenclaw (writing furiously in the common room, ink spattering her fingers and nose).

She and Marietta had never been very close, but in seeing her studiousness had latched onto her quickly ("You're not going to stay here all night, are you? We have Defense first thing tomorrow!"). Determined as she was to stay immersed in distractions, she couldn't help but be upset at the school climate (terse words in halls and strain on most faces) and the shoddy teaching they were receiving at Umbridge's hands. She also couldn't help but notice something else – Harry Potter. The boy-who-lived (when he had died). The dark-haired seeker who had tried to catch her attention last year, but who had not been able to win out over Cedric's affections.

he boy who could have led her on a different path, had she given him a chance. And even though she knew it was not fair to either of them, she thought that maybe if she could be interested in him, her pain might lessen. But it did not go as planned (quidditch and death were their only commonalities) and all she could feel was guilt at the betrayal of the boy she loved (loves, will always love).

Later, when she heard about the Ministy incident (the six hospitalized, the scandalous capture of Lucius Malfoy) she was admittedly relieved that it hadn't worked out. Harry was a target and she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the death of someone else she cared about.

Although she defended Marietta's actions, she distanced herself, realizing that during her withdrawal (self-imposed isolation) Marietta had been using her to advance her own social status. She spent the summer after her sixth year lost in thought (the future was ahead even if she wished otherwise) and after a painful visit to the Diggory's (tears and the vacant, mad look in his father's eyes) she steeled herself in determination. Her future was just beginning, bleaker than before, but holding untold possibilities.

Seventh Year was just beginning, and she would make all she could of it.


End file.
